Tucson Sammy

In addition to my usual day job, I assume the roles of handyman and housewife in our home. The housewife role, and the fact that my lovely wife had to work on the holiday, meant that I got to be the Big Kahuna this Thanksgiving. I did the envisioning, the planning, and the execution.

The execution of the plan began the day before. All the food and sundries were secured, and the specialty equipment unpacked. Everything went smoothly, except for the securing of the roasting pan and rack – I dug everything out of the shed looking for them before I remembered that I put them in the back of a kitchen cabinet last year so that I would not have to dig through the shed again. With all the gear in place, I was ready for the big day.

Thanksgiving day started as any other – my wife and I sitting together at the kitchen table swilling coffee while it was still dark outside. We exchanged few words as we struggled to become coherent. By the time my lovely wife was smiling and conversational, it was time for her to leave. She departed for work in the family motor vehicle.

I performed some yogic stretching to clear my nadis (energy channels in the body), then performed my daily prayer and meditation routine. Now I was ready for Thanksgiving Day.

I thought I would start with some nice music to accompany my final rearranging and cleaning of the house. I chose the 1969 album “Loaded” by the Velvet Underground. Soon the voice of a young Lou Reed filled the hacienda with immortal classics such as “Heroine” and “Sweet Jane”. I thought I might play every cover of “Sweet Jane” recorded in the last thirty five years, but that would consume most of the morning. Perhaps I would just play the Cowboy Junkies version on repeat, but that might induce me to take a nap. Ultimately, I decided that, cool though it was, the music of a bunch of Avant Garde New York City junkies just did not make the grade on Thanksgiving Day.

I began to experience a recollection. A memory that went back to elementary school. At the risk of revealing my age, I was in elementary school when Madeline Murray O’Hare landed the first blow in what would become a culture war. She went to court to ban praying in government schools. I attended a government school, though back then they were funded at the municipal level, and parents called the shots. Prayers were gone, but hymns were not. I recall that every Thanksgiving we would sing “We Gather Together.” It had three verses. These are the lyrics:

1. We gather together
to ask the Lord’s blessing;
he chastens and hastens
his will to make known.
The wicked oppressing
now cease from distressing.
Sing praises to his name,
he forgets not his own.

2. Beside us to guide us,
our God with us joining,
ordaining, maintaining
his kingdom divine;
so from the beginning
the fight we were winning;
thou, Lord, wast at our side,
all glory be thine!

3. We all do extol thee,
thou leader triumphant,
and pray that thou still
our defender wilt be.
Let thy congregation
escape tribulation;
thy name be ever praised!
O Lord, make us free!

Yikes! Singing that would make even the most strident secular humanist start speaking in tongues! As Lou Reed might say, “Singing a Thanksgiving hymn, those were different times.”

I guess the leap from the Velvet Underground to traditional hymns was just too much for me at the time, so I listened to a blues album by Jimi Hendrix. It was primarily covers of blues classics from John Lee Hooker, Muddy Waters, etc; but did include a couple of live versions of Voodoo Child.

The chord changes and masterful guitar work were so relaxing that I was almost late in starting the food prep. The fully stuffed and seasoned turkey hit the oven at 1:30 P.M., putting the meal on track for a 6:00 P.M. start time.

Part of my vision saw relatives coming over at random times of the day to visit. The reality, however, was that most called to say that they would show up right before the meal – a sort of “just in time” guest inventory.

My brother-in-law did come by a couple of hours early.
The dog went berserk with joy. He used to feed her hamburgers and hotdogs from his outside grill when she was a puppy – she loves him more than any other creature who walks the face of the earth. He asked if I wanted to watch a DVD on the Reagan presidency, which he got from some online Catholic bookstore, right then and there. I explained that, though I loved Reagan as much as the next guy, I had much turkey basting, vegetable steaming, and roll baking to do in the next couple of hours so I would not be able to give it my full attention – but I would be happy to put it on for him. He confessed to having already viewed it, and that he wanted to play it now primarily for my benefit. I suggested that he leave it with me, and in that way I could give it my undivided attention at another time. He agreed to do that, and before I escaped the room he asked, “Did you ever watch the last video I lent to you?” I stopped, recalling the video about gang activity in the Los Angeles school system he lent to me about six weeks ago. “Uh…no…um…but…it is on my list…haven’t had a chance, but I will watch it,” I said with a smile.

My wife came home from work, and her parents arrived in plenty of time. We all had a chance to visit a bit before sitting down to the meal. I did a lot of serving, arranging, and getting up and down; the folks kept insisting that I sit down and eat.

The turkey was superb! I owe it all to the recipe I got from Martha Stewart. Now, I honestly do not know if her recipes are any better than the rest, I just wanted to show support for a woman who was punished for being successful. As you may recall, the original charges against her were dropped, and she was prosecuted for lying to an FBI agent – not under oath, not in a deposition, but in an informal interview. It was never clear whether she lied, or made
misstatements based on her recollection of times and dates of telephone conversations. In any event, none of that fact stuff mattered – she was successful, what more did one need to know? When asked why he voted to convict, one juror replied, “I did it for the little guy.”

In any event, the meal was a great success, and I was the big winner. I say that because the point of Thanksgiving is to give thanks to God; and what better way to do that than to prepare a meal for one’s family as an offering to Him? Any housewife will tell you that there are few things more satisfying.

O.K., I’m trying to “move on” past the election, but I’m having no success. I find myself contemplating my nationalization theory; specifically, I’m assuming the theory to be true, and looking back at events from that perspective. In other words, I’m recalling the statements of the Democrats and imagining what they would mean if spoken by their national leadership.

Don’t try this at home! In fact, I avoid doing this alone because occasionally it leads to hyperventilation, which can lead to a strong stomach cramp that can only be cured by breathing into a paper bag for a protracted period of time.

The Tucson Citizen (one of Tucson’s hapless dailies) stated that “Trasoff’s campaign is all anti-Ronstadt, with little attention paid to proposals for serving the ward and the city.” This is a fair description of both Democrat campaigns, and a precise picture of the party leadership activities at the national level. Even their affirmative campaign promises were reactions to the accomplishments of the Republicans – repeal the garbage fee, quicker implementation of impact fees, completely subsidize KIDCO, etc. Nothing creative or original was proposed.

Let’s translate some phrases that are repeated at both the local and national level (the wording might not be identical, but the assertions are the same). Uhlich says, “It’s about our values;” translation: “Republicans are out of touch with the people.” Uhlich says, “It’s about accountability;” translation: “Republicans are corrupt.” Trasoff says, “My opponent just doesn’t get it;” translation: “Bush is an idiot.” Uhlich says, “I support gun safety;” translation: “I don’t support gun rights, and I’ll use ‘safety’ as a ploy to deny the people that right.” These translations are mine, and not those of the candidates.

So, are the Democrats dullards with no vision or direction? I think not. It is more likely that they have a vision, and a direction in which they want to take Tucson – they just didn’t run on it. Is it a secret? Are there any clues?

How about the endorsements? Well, let’s look at the ones about which Trasoff boasts (taken from her flyer). Here are some: AZ Dem Progressive Caucus; Pima Area Labor Federation; Sierra Club / Rincon; S.AZ. Building Trades; Arizona List (State version of EMILY’s List); SEIU (a service workers union); Democracy for America / Tucson; Linda Ronstadt; Las Adelitas.

Where is my paper bag! I know better than to do this alone.

Jeez! This looks like a list of all the organizations that reserve tables at the local May Day celebration!

This is just too awful to contemplate. Let’s change the subject to…say…national Democrat party coordination at the state level! Now, I do not generally believe in dark conspiracies; but I do not believe in coincidences either. So when the Democrat governors of both Arizona and New Mexico suddenly declared states of emergency in their border counties, and threw some resources at border security, I smelled a plot rich with fertilizer.

Have the Democrats suddenly gone rational on us? No, Bush is a big open-borders guy, and they are the Antibush, voila! Seriously, someone in the party has finally identified border security as the big sleeper issue, and they want to get on the right side of it before the Republicans.

All politics is national…go figure!

I believe that it was Tip O’Neil who said that all politics is local. Newt Gingrich and the Republicans blew that idea out of the water in 1994 by winning the U.S. House of Representatives– for the first time in over forty years – on national issues. Did the Pima County Democrats go to the next level in last week’s election? In other words, did they make the local election national?

I believe a case can be made for the affirmative. Look, the Democrats didn’t just win, they slammed them. Trasoff won with 65 percent, while Uhlich won with 61 per cent. That’s a landslide in anyone’s book. Yours truly predicted a Democrat win based on the registration advantage, and their get-out-the-vote efforts – but that’s all they had. They had no real issues; in fact, all the candidates were generally in agreement on most things. There was talk about the garbage fee, but Uhlich avoided the topic and Trasoff was all over the map. Their bottom line complaint was that it was too inconvenient for poor people to secure their exemption. There was some complaining about KIDCO, the City funded after school sitting service. The bottom line complaint there was that affluent people had to pay a token fee. Neither these, nor any other specific issue in the campaign, were enough in themselves to bring the members of the “Evil Party” out of the woodwork on Election Day.

I agree that Dunbar handed the Democrats a useful tool by defending herself with the lawsuit, but it must also be remembered that there was little difference in the losing margins of Dunbar and Ronstadt, which suggests that Dunbar’s suit did not hurt her that much.

Both Dunbar and Ronstadt had the advantage of incumbency, and two stellar records.

Most of the Democrat candidates’ time was spent expressing fear over unseen dark forces plotting to steal from the mouths of women and children. Goofy, yes, but consistent with what the national mouthpieces have been saying. I recall Uhlich describing Dunbar’s suit as an attempt to intimidate -similar to what was going on at the national level…whatever that meant.

So with no significant issues, no big scandals, no Republican skeletons in or out of the closet (Jim Kolbe excepted), and strong Republican candidates, what was it that got the Democrats out to the polls? Irrational Democrat hatred of Republicans is my best guess – the national connection.

There was another national connection – the money. Locally, each candidate raised around eighty grand – both Democrats with involuntary tax money, both Republicans without involuntary tax money. The Democrats got another thirty grand from the State party. The Republicans got stiffed by their State party. The independent groups that favored the Democrats were supported by California union money, and the likes of moveon.org (I feel like washing my hands after typing that).

Fomenting fear and hatred is not a good long-term strategy, even though it’s working for the Democrats at all levels of government…for now.

…and a great darkness fell upon the land.

Just kidding! In case you haven’t heard, both Democrats skunked their Republican opponents. No hyperbole here, I forget the actual numbers, but Trasoff beat Ronstadt 2:1, while Uhlich beat Dunbar 3:2. Yikes! While your humble servant did predict a Democrat sweep, these margins are a surprise.

I stopped by the Hotel Congress early in the evening. I chatted with Steve Leal briefly after being the first to congratulate him on his victory (he’s running unopposed). He suggested that Dunbar might loose because of the suit she filed. He suggested that suing a teacher was the equivalent of kicking a nun in the eyes of the voters. I almost suggested to Steve that kicking a nun might increase Democrat crossover voting, but thought better of it. I thought him wrong at the time, now I’m not so sure.

There was no one else there that I knew, so a strolled back to The Manning House were the Republicans were holding their party. I enjoyed the walk immensely. The unseasonably warm weather made for moderate temperatures after dark. There was enough urban light that the streets were never really dark, though it was well after sunset.

There were a couple of restaurants and a club or two still open for business. A tall woman in a black ensemble stood in a doorway with three or four shopping bags lined up against the wall. I passed a street gentleman whom I passed by earlier – this time he declined to repeat the earlier entreaty for a monetary transfer to which I sent negative signals. I passed a couple who had paused in the middle of the sidewalk so the gentleman could photograph a rather plain shuttered window. He was in a baggy black suit, while she was wearing a sort of sex-kitten costume complete with whisker make-up. It occurred to me that I might tell them that the Democrats were at the Hotel Congress, but then I figured that they probably already knew that.

Downtown Tucson in the early evening is a snapshot of itself. It is not dead, neither is it alive and vibrant. It’s just there, much like the space between the inhalation and the exhalation – a moment of peace to be embraced.

I turned onto Paseo Redondo by the Redondo Towers Apartments and quickly found myself in front of the stately Manning House. The front was dark. The Republicans, presumably due to their minority status, had to enter through the back door. I followed a drive that led to the back. I knew I was in the right place when I saw the media trucks with their generators running and a series of cables taped across the sidewalk.

I ran into Brad Lang and his lovely wife and daughter. He works for Kathleen Dunbar at the Ward III office. We spoke briefly about the election. Brad is really too nice a guy to concern himself with election politics. The last time we spoke, a week or two ago, he expressed frustration over the Democrat assertion that Kathleen was controlled by “special interests.” He told me that he knew all the neighborhood association presidents in Ward III from seeing them at the Ward III office; he added that he had never met either Jim Click or Don Diamond, and would not know them if he saw them. I thought of explaining the strategy of applying an established national template locally, and pandering to a base that sees Republicans as stereotypes, but he seemed to be taking it too much to heart.

I entered the building and made my way to the hall. Along the way I met Judi White, head of the Pima County Republicans. She looked preoccupied. “Have you seen the numbers?”, she asked. I had not, but the first set of numbers broadcast by the news services indicated heap big bad news for the Republicans.

Fred Ronstadt was there. He answered some questions for a camera, then proceeded to retire to the courtyard to smoke cigars with the College Republicans. I waited a while before hustling a cigar for myself. It was a corona sized Macanudo, yum! By this time, Fred was off by himself an aid trying to get through to Nina Trasoff on a cell phone to offer his congratulations. I approached him and thanked him for his eight years of service to the community. We smoked together for a few minutes, then he had to go inside to make his speech.

I lingered outside – not wanting to abandon such a fine cigar – and eaves-dropped on the College Republicans. They talked about politics at both the national and local levels. They all seemed happy with the lunatic behavior of the Democrat leadership at the nation level, and hoped that it continues. At one point, one of the leaders complimented the rest for their efforts. They seemed mildly disappointed, but undaunted. By the way, they were not dorks with horn-rimmed glassed, blue blazers and ties; they were regular kids complete with body piercings.

I went back inside to hear the end of Fred’s speech. Kathleen Dunbar had arrived. She followed Fred’s speech with one of her own. I waited around until I had a chance to thank Kathleen for her four years of service to the community, then I split for the Democrat party.

The party at Hotel Congress had spilled into the street. Karin Uhlich was outside shaking hands and posing for photographs. I managed to catch up to her and congratulated her on her victory. She thanked me for coming. I worked my way inside and congratulated Nina Trasoff on her victory. She also thanked me for coming. It was odd seeing so many jubilant Democrats – you’d think that Al-Qaeda had bombed the White House or something. I wandered through the crowd looking for other familiar faces, or anything of interest; but there was just a bunch of regular folks, happy and celebrating.

I left the party. I could still taste the Macanudo. I went over to the Crescent Smoke Shop to get another cigar. It was closed, as were the restaurants. I walked back to my truck and drove down to Broadway and turned east, dipping down under the overpass and coming up underneath the Snake Bridge – more commonly known as the Bridge to Nowhere.

Tomorrow is the big day for our intrepid candidates for City Council, as their fates will be decided by the people of Tucson.

There are only two real races since Councilman-for-Life Steve Leal’s opponent, Vernon Walker, self destructed early in the game. They are the Ward III race in which Democrat Karin Uhlich is challenging incumbent Republican Kathleen Dunbar, and the Ward VI race in which Democrat Nina Trasoff is challenging incumbent Republican Fred Ronstadt.

So who ought to win, and why? From my perspective, both races provide the opportunity to pick a Hardshell Socialist or a Softshell Socialist. No wonder people stay away from the polls in droves during local contests. So, if you have been paying attention, and feel duty-bound to participate, you might consider the Softshells as they are not hell-bent on depriving you of your assets and your rights. Are there no other criteria you ask? Well, yes there are. Both Softshells have records of excellent on-the-job performance that are free of huge blunders and scandals – this has made the jobs of the challengers extremely difficult, and is no doubt a factor in the contentious nature of the campaigns. The Hardshells, while dynamic women of accomplishment, have no experience in elective office, or government in general – unknown entities as far as the councilman job is concerned. These other criteria support the Softshell choice. Consider voting for Dunbar and Ronstadt.

So who will win, and why? The real question is: How did the Republicans get to be incumbents in the first place? Given the overwhelmingly greater number of registered Democrats than registered Republicans, it’s astounding that a Republican has ever been elected to anything in this city. The plain truth is that most registered voters vote their party. The Republican victories were a result of favorable turnout and crossover. The crossover factor was, and will be, determined by the quality of the Republican candidates (you could argue that Fred’s family name helped him initially, but that does not reach past the first term). Turnout will be the deciding factor this time, and the Democrats know it. You can bet a case of Lake City Match Grade .308 ammunition that they’re devoting vast resources to getting fellow Democrats to the polls. The indefatigable Green Party activist Katie Bolger is heading the effort for Karin Uhlich, and advising the Trasoff campaign. Katie is a dedicated hard worker, and is certainly a heap big asset. I fear for the Softshells. I predict a victory for both Trasoff and Uhlich.

Oh yeah! The “Home Rule” proposition to raise the State imposed spending limit for the City of Tucson, you know, the limit that already increases automatically to accommodate inflation and population growth? Har-har-har, guffaw, guffaw. They’re kidding…right?

By the way, if you care to augment the election coverage offered by your humble sevant, check out the Tucson Weekly. Jim Nintzel has been providing the best in-depth coverage.

It would be an understatement to say that the Ward III race is heating up.

Karin Uhlich, the Democrat challenger, is under enormous pressure to find something wrong with Republican incumbent Kathleen Dunbar that will impress voters – no small task. She needs something more than nit-picking complaints, or vague generalities about “direction”, “powerful forces”, and “taking Tucson back”.

In a recent mailing, Uhlich claimed that Dunbar tried to interfere with the Amphi School District’s attempt to extort $250,000.00 out of the developer to get its blessing on a zoning change. The deal was never struck, because, according to attorney for the developer Lawrence Rollin, there was no opposition to the change. As it turned out, they did not need to buy Todd Yaeger, the associate superintendent of the school district who claims that they had a deal and Dunbar succeeded in foiling it. The zoning change was passed by the council 7-0. Dunbar denies the accusations.

Now, I was not there, so I don’t know. It does seem unlikely, however, that Dunbar would come to the rescue of a developer who neither asked for, nor needed, her help. You do not have to take Rollins word, the seven to zip council vote proves that point. Dunbar was so incensed that she hired an attorney to sue for defamation if a retraction is not offered by Election Day.

I suspect that the Uhlich campaign cobbled together a little wishful thinking that got out of control. Uhlich likened Dunbar to the Bush administration in that she is retaliating with attempts at intimidation (Bush engaging in retaliatory intimidation is a pleasant thought, but, alas, a mere Democrat fantasy).

There is a national parallel though, and it’s the reaction of Uhlich. Instead of stepping up to the legal challenge with a declaration that the truth will prevail and she will prove her point (“Bring it on!” as Bush would say), she repeats the tactic of the national party by accusing the Republican of intimidation and acting like the stalwart, fearless champion/victim.

Frankly, I’m delighted that Dunbar is suing. Many pundits are horrified because it just isn’t done – these are the voices of the jaded. I like it for two reasons, both based on the assumption that the charges are bogus – the more likely scenario in my opinion: 1, It will improve the political process in that people will be held accountable (“accountability” is a term Uhlich uses frequently) for their accusations – yes, I’m suggesting that lying is bad even in political campaigns. As long as people can lie with impunity, issues, debates, and campaigns themselves will be pointless; 2, Now, if Dunbar were to fulfill the pattern that exists at the national level, she would hang her head and “seek a compromise” in the face of adventurous Democrats, encouraging them to hit harder. Instead, she stands up for herself (gasp!). She’s actually willing to defend herself! Why, she has more spine than any three Republicans in the U.S. Senate! This puts everyone into new territory. There is no playbook response for a Republican with dignity. Way to think outside the box!

There is another reason the pundits are dismayed. They often see events through a tactical prism, and they realize that trotting out a lawyer is not in her interest. Non-candidate radio ads are already describing her as a “Playground Bully.” She is savvy enough to know this. So, what could be her true motivation? It couldn’t be that she is trying to right a wrong that she has suffered…could it?

Dunbar herself summed it up well, “How can my constituents expect me to stand up for them, if I won’t even stand up for myself?”

Indeed.