Walker Story has Legs

It was with some trepidation that I opened the current edition of the Tucson Weekly to view the follow-up article on Vernon Walker, Republican candidate for City Council, Ward V. Could it get any worse? Is he still in the race? What damage will he do to the Republican Party in Pima County?

Worse? Perhaps not; the follow-up article rehashed those things brought to light in the first article, plus the news of his recent payment of an outstanding court judgment. The payment was at the behest of George Gobble, Republican strategist from whom Walker has been getting advice. Good advice, that. According to the Weekly, included with the check was a letter “reserving his right to pursue further legal action…” When I read that, I uttered the same phrase that I did when President Clinton finally confessed to his affair with Monica and went on to say that it was not his fault, but rather that of those mean ol’ Republicans – “what a punk!”

Interestingly, there were new Vernon Walker revelations in “The Skinny”, an ongoing column in the Weekly that has fun with the antics of people in the news. There was a report of Mr. Walker’s status regarding matching campaign funds (God help us!), and his battle with Pima County over his conversion of a garage to a room without the necessary permits. Now, while I certainly support anyone who tells the King what he can do with his permits, this principle is not the point here. What was fascinating was the written argument that Walker submitted in his defense. The Weekly described his writing as “…in a language remarkably similar to English.” This remark is actually too charitable. There was a dearth of periods (that would be “dots” for you computer geeks) in his ramblings, along with many humorous phrases such as “…and should have a statue of limitations on it”; but hey, we all screw up words every now and then, write?

There were rumors afoot of Walker’s dropping out, but no official action as of this writing.

Amazingly, Walker has not raised the ire of his fellow Republicans. What does this guy have to do, rape a nun? Jeez, it’s not like the Republicans can afford miscreants on the ballot; after all, who will quote Dunbar or Ronstadt when he can quote Walker, then expose the lie? Dunbar has judiciously offered “no comment” when asked about the Walker campaign. Ronstadt has described him as a “friend”. Well, O.K., I can see being loyal to a friend, and giving an honest answer, but then it’s time to throw him from the sled. How can one defend the indefensible?

I suppose that it’s possible that when VW (Vernon Walker) said “statue of limitations” , he was referring to the Statue of Liberty in New York! As we all know, the Statue of Liberty is made up of a base, a statue, and a torch. It is from these terms that the legal terms “base law”, “statue law”, and “torch law” come. Vernon could not have explained it better himself!